Wednesday, September 24, 2008

The GATES Reading Placement Test Prayer

Dear Gates-Reading-Test-god,

I come before you, humbly, with fingers crossed (and arms crossed
and legs crossed and eyes crossed).

Almighty decider of fate, it's been 5 years since you have granted my twins
a star on the forehead for reading at grade level.

I have never asked anything of you before, but today they will meet you for
the first time as 4th graders, so I ask that you smile upon them
and make yourself clear, oh so transparently clear to them.

And please, please, please if they test at 2nd grade level again, don't
tell their teachers and their friends. I would never ask you to lie,
but a little fibbing never hurt anyone.

If it be thy will, please let them shine.
Please let them make their teachers scratch their heads in bewilderment.
May they do a touchdown dance and sing Nana nana boo boo for once in their life.

But if it be thy will that you remain an obstacle in their path, grant them the
serenity to use you as a stomping, I mean stepping stone and not a stumbling block.

Amen

2 comments:

Lisa (Funny Farmer) said...

LOL... I love blasphemy disguised as humor!

Do I hear thunder?

Debbie said...

ha ha Smarty pants. I was going for humor disguised as blasphemy, but you saw right through me.